Out of Sleep

Yawn...sleepless in South Carolina and I am not the the only one. Sitting here listening to corny love songs on Sirius Radio, while my animals sleep and my SS is sleeping as well as by better half. But back to these corny love songs...REALLY? What sales those songs? Maybe, I am just getting set in my age 40 ish or maybe I am just reading into those stupid songs. For instance, "Love Runs Outs" by One Republic is playing now, perhaps my love has run out...now that's deep. Guess I should just shake off that deep thought. Stupid music anyway.

 I actually prefer silence, I can hear my heart beat, feel the pulse in my wrist, sort through things in my mind...I try to find myself. I know I am still here, I am still breathing, I feel air coming out of my nose and see my stomach rise and fall. If one is honest, at some point they have felt as if he or she has lost part of themselves and you have make sure you are still alive. Gosh, for the last 4 months, I have just been going through the motions of life, just answering what questions I have had to, avoiding everything possible, and being perfectly content sleeping my days and nights away (without being medically induced) until today and I have ran out of sleep.

So, here I am in the wee hours of morning blogging about my mess. Well, I believe if I blog about the other things that are true and straight from the heart (some funny and some more serious) then I should share this as well. Not for pity, I AM not a pity person, I am just blogging. This is just the tip of my little iceberg and hopefully it will melt soon, if not I am getting the blow torch out and firing that bad boy up cuz after 4 months nobody ain't got time fo dat.

 

Love for Lachlan

Lachlan Tannery

Hey everyone...meet Lachlan Tannery! Lachlan loves corn dogs, sweet tea, Thomas the Train, balloons, Clemson Tigers, balls, running and playing, and of course from this picture, one can see Lachlan loves to laugh and smile.

Lachlan's parents are Jason and Mary Tannery, of Seneca, South Carolina. Lachlan and his twin brother are one month from turning 2 years old. Also, over this past Summer, Lachlan and his twin became big brothers to baby Tannery. It was this Summer that Jason and Mary received the most devastating news one can hear about their son, Lachlan.

Lachlan is suffering from Juvenile Myelomonocytic Leukemia, also known as JMML. JMML is a rare and chronic form of Leukemia. It occurs when too many immature white blood cells called "myelocytes" and "monocytes" are made in the bone marrow. They eventually crowd out the healthy, normal cells that belong in the bone marrow. Chemotherapy will not be enough to cure Lachlan. At this point, he is having blood and platelet transfusions most every week and has already been in the hospital multiple times due to his weakened immune system.

Here is how we can help Lachlan Tannery! In order to save Lachlan, YOU have to be the MATCH. One may think well, why not just use his brother's bone marrow since Lachlan is a twin. It is not that simple. You see they are identical twins, so there is a slight chance that his twin could have JMML; however at this time his brother is not showing any signs or symptoms.

Joining Be THE MATCH is really easy: bethematch.org/join/

PLEASE*** Make sure this is something you feel lead to do, if not for Lachlan; perhaps for someone else. Just one person can give life to someone who is need. 

I am leaving some more pictures of Lachlan. He is a handsome little fellow and quite the HERO for what he is going through. If you do not feel lead to join BE THE MATCH, I ask that you go to your nearest blood bank and donate blood in honor of Lachlan Tannery. All you have to do is wherever you live, just tell your local blood bank who you are donating blood for and Lachlan will receive credit for the blood.

Ready for the Rescue

A stubbed toe...a loss of loved one...depression...hurtful words...unsaid words,,,a broken heart...the list is endless and sometimes pain feels endless, especially if the pain is chronic and all of the above examples of pain are real. Well, maybe a stubbed toe might not qualify as chronic, but the very second one stubs his or her toe if feels dagum chronic!

Each month since the first of the year I have been having infusions for Myalgia, the doctors dropped the "Fibro" and at this moment are going with Myalgia. The infusions do me well for about 3 weeks out of the month and the on the 4th week of the month it's like having your period in a major way with lots of crazy muscle spasms.

Sunshine and I went out yesterday and had a girls's day...went thrifting...found some treasures,,,had lunch,,,and just spent much, much needed time together and it was a good day.

Now today, I am functioning to my degree of functionability, which is prescribe medicine and trying to regulate my temperature. However, at least at this point I am not in the bed, I am holding out and being strong for Sunshine, which leads me to the conversation, the very real conversation we just had.

This health issue isn't something that has just "popped" up I have been battling this 16 years, since Sunshine was 2 years old. She told me what I having been inevitably been putting off what I needed to do. Sometimes, it takes a "Sunshine" telling one what needs to go down for one to actually do it. She said, "Mama, you are almost 41 years old and some days you have to live like you are 80 and this is wrong." So, I am going to take her up on this and we are going rescue my life with God's help.

I recognize there are many people in own family that are fighting health battles and you all are in my prayers. Also, there is a young boy in our community that is fighting a rare form of cancer he is in my prayers. And all the people in silent pain, which perhaps the is the worst prayers for you as well.

Thank You! NO, Really THANK YOU!

My "Sunshine" graduated high school this past June and I am so very proud of her accomplishments. You see, I took her out of the public school system after her 7th grade year, not that she was struggling grade wise, but she was struggling in other areas in which I was blind in. During her 6th grade year, she was bullied and tripped by another student and my child broke her leg, a lot happened over that Summer and into her 7th grade year that I could just shake myself now. However, the past is the past and our family learned much from the tripping and broke leg and believe it or not we are still learning today.

"Sunshine" graduated with Honors in the National Honors Society and Honors in the Art Society, I am not bragging, but not too shabby if you ask this "Mama Bear". I can remember vividly sitting in a conference with the school district due to "Sunshine" missing too many days in her 7th grade year, well let's just call her SS for short was supposed to be there and I can remember one of the school board member's asking where she was. I responded that, "She was in school reviewing for an  Honors Algebra exam." I honestly thought I had been hit by lighting when I heard his response, Well, I don't know why the child has missed over 60 days." WHOA MAMA! Well, I hope he found out that SS made a 96% on the exam!

She started Liberty University 2 weeks after graduating High School and is doing really well and is very happy. After being bullied and sorta being bullied through the school district for doubting her, she is seeking a degree in counseling concentrating on education. Ok...curve ball. Thank you again, girl who broke her leg and thank you again school district. No, really THANK YOU! Without this, I am not sure what my Freshman SS from Liberty University would be so passionate about. Again, this "Mama Bear" is very thankful her "bear cub" wants to help make a change.

Bark on the Beams

Sorry it's been awhile everyone. I took a break from blogging and decided to pick it up again. I hope I will continue to have my reader's and perhaps even more. First, I am going to apologize for my grammar ahead of time because when I start blogging (talking) to ya'll I almost forget about grammar. Anyway, it's great to be back!

We moved back in late February into the house I grew up in. This house was built in the early 80's and holds a lot of sweet memories for me. Many first's happened for me in this house. Now that I am 40 years old and I look at the beams in the basement that still have the bark on the them, they are really special to me. You are thinking, "Why is bark on the beams so important?" This house was built from the wood off of my grandparent''s land. I can remember vividly many, many Saturday's the saw mill would run behind my grandparents house...I can still hear it ringing in mind. Some day's if I am in the basement I touch the bark, just to feel it. It's kinda surreal to be back home raising my family here and everyday I seem to gain a new sweet memory. Hang tight to memories they grow sweeter each day! Is this our forever home, I have no clue...but I do know that I am thankful for the bark on the beams and thankful for the roof over my family's head.


KL