Out of Sleep

Yawn...sleepless in South Carolina and I am not the the only one. Sitting here listening to corny love songs on Sirius Radio, while my animals sleep and my SS is sleeping as well as by better half. But back to these corny love songs...REALLY? What sales those songs? Maybe, I am just getting set in my age 40 ish or maybe I am just reading into those stupid songs. For instance, "Love Runs Outs" by One Republic is playing now, perhaps my love has run out...now that's deep. Guess I should just shake off that deep thought. Stupid music anyway.

 I actually prefer silence, I can hear my heart beat, feel the pulse in my wrist, sort through things in my mind...I try to find myself. I know I am still here, I am still breathing, I feel air coming out of my nose and see my stomach rise and fall. If one is honest, at some point they have felt as if he or she has lost part of themselves and you have make sure you are still alive. Gosh, for the last 4 months, I have just been going through the motions of life, just answering what questions I have had to, avoiding everything possible, and being perfectly content sleeping my days and nights away (without being medically induced) until today and I have ran out of sleep.

So, here I am in the wee hours of morning blogging about my mess. Well, I believe if I blog about the other things that are true and straight from the heart (some funny and some more serious) then I should share this as well. Not for pity, I AM not a pity person, I am just blogging. This is just the tip of my little iceberg and hopefully it will melt soon, if not I am getting the blow torch out and firing that bad boy up cuz after 4 months nobody ain't got time fo dat.